“Happy” isn’t Always Centered

I had a lot on my plate: gearing up for our Costa Rica retreats and all the pre-trip logistical details involved, holiday packages to get in the mail, newsletters, emails, laundry…you get the idea. Shya was under the weather so I was happy to take up the slack. I had been moving with gusto and gaining momentum, fully engaging and handling task after task. It was then that I realized that being fully engaged in what I was doing had slipped over into being off-center.
I had started my day with the realization that if I wanted to be ready for our vacation at the end of the week, there were numerous things that I needed to handle. Some I had scheduled for Shya and I to do together over the week, and other things I handled immediately while a list of things waited in the queue. I was unexpectedly happy. It was easy to treat tasks as if doing them were my idea, because they were. Yet in my enthusiasm, I started to notice that I was getting ahead of myself. At the store, while picking up some items, I couldn’t remember where I parked my car for a moment. Then, as I was casting about in search of it, I unexpectedly stepped off a curb into the parking lot. Slow down! I thought.
Errands run, I headed home and put things away, folded laundry, answered a text, and decided to make a cup of espresso with heated cream – a treat. As I got ready to head back upstairs to our office, I realized I needed a little fuel, too, so I made a snack of celery and cream cheese, another treat – this one a legacy from my childhood. As I noshed, I decided to put away the dishes in the drainer so things would be complete. I dried the little pitcher I use to heat cream and to my surprise, when I went to put it away in the cupboard, the carton of cream was sitting in its place. In my zeal to complete things, I had put the cream on a shelf in the cupboard rather than in the fridge.
Clearly, telling myself to slow down hadn’t helped. Clearly, feeling good about what I was accomplishing, and enjoying what I was doing, didn’t automatically mean that I was fully present and centered. Of course, when falling off center, I prefer feeling good, but still if things continued to move in this direction, I would likely make bigger mistakes.
Taking a breath, I brought awareness to my actions. Awareness, in case you are wondering, is a non-judgmental seeing. My awareness came back into my hands and into what I was doing. As I walked, I felt my feet on the floor. I actually slowed down, rather than just talking to myself about it. And contrary to my mind’s expectations, I actually got things done more efficiently – without having to backtrack to clean up my mistakes.
Looking back, I see “happy” was also a touch frantic.
I love transformation…and awareness…and projects…and being me.

I hope you love being you also.

Note from Ariel & Shya: It’s not too early to make your travel plans for our in person Bi-Lingual course/s in Hamburg Germany, The Freedom to Breathe (Oct 31) and The Art of Being Happy (Nov 1-3) Register today!