Childbirth, Labor and Deliver–ease By Pamela Stern

01 May Childbirth, Labor and Deliver–ease By Pamela Stern

If you listen to most people, the experiences of being pregnant, having a baby and caring for a newborn are difficult and painful. This is so ingrained in our society that to even suggest having a child can be fun and painless often produces strong disagreement. My husband Dave and I are living proof that it can be a smooth, easy, enlivening process all the way through, even after conception. We have Ariel and Shya Kane and Instantaneous Transformation to thank for that.

Two weeks ago, we welcomed our son into the world. The labor, delivery and his first days home with us have been surreal and wonderful. It really is a miracle that there is a living, breathing little person in our home who is a piece of us. The past few weeks did come with their challenges and we certainly had opinions on how we wanted it all to turn out. Learning that life is much easier when we don’t complain to ourselves about what we can’t control has allowed us to enjoy even the sleepless, uncomfortable moments. When we say that the whole process has been easy, what we really mean is that things did not always go the way we would have liked, but we handled it all with a sense of ease.

Throughout the pregnancy, I had three strong preferences. First, I did not want to have labor induced, as many people volunteered what a long, painful process induction could be. Second, I did not want to have a C–section. Third, I got along with some of the doctors at my OB/GYN practice better than others and hoped that one of my “favorites” would deliver the baby. As Ariel & Shya teach, we discovered that what you resist persists. So, in the early hours of the morning on our son’s due date, our doctors found some minor issues and decided that induction was necessary. And of course, the doctor on call that evening was one we did not know well. As we headed to the hospital, Dave and I couldn’t help but laugh to ourselves because the truth was, our preferences were irrelevant. The little guy was on his way whether we liked the circumstances or not and we could choose to act as if everything that was happening was our idea.

Throughout the labor, we remained present. We did not get ahead of ourselves thinking about when it would be over. We had been living our lives this way, so that attitude carried over even during such a memorable event. As the doctors and nurses came in and out of the delivery room giving us updates on the baby and the next steps, we listened and allowed the doctors to lead us. As labor progressed, the baby’s heart rate dropped a bit. For his safety, they wanted me to start pushing and would use forceps to guide him out quickly. Hearing this could have been upsetting if we let ourselves get lost in the drama of possible negative outcomes that could occur. Would the baby be ok? Is this very serious? Will they need to do an emergency C–section? The list could go on and on. We noticed afterwards that instead of letting our thoughts run wild, we just asked questions and said ok, tell us what to do next.

Less than thirty minutes later, with the guidance of three excellent doctors, Gavin arrived and he was perfect. His heart rate was great and there were no signs of distress. In the end, the doctor who delivered Gavin was a pleasure, no C–section was needed and inducing him was a great decision. The two nights after delivery I spent at the hospital were really sweet. We were enthralled with our baby, but Dave and I also widened our focus to get to know the staff caring for us so well. One of the beauties of transformation is being of service to others. We invested in creating a mutual relationship with every staff member and each was more friendly and informative than the last.

We had often been told that new parents take their baby home, put him down then look at each other and say “Now what?” We quickly discovered that the “Now what?” was simple. Gavin folded seamlessly into our life the day we took him home. Sure – as all new parents discover – life is not what it was just a few days prior. We were waking up throughout the night for feedings and checking in with work as our new schedule allowed. Rather than victimize ourselves and complain about the experience, however, we knew this was what we wanted and chose when we decided to have a child. We can honestly say that it’s been a fun, effortless journey. He is even already joining us for the weekly Monday Night Alive seminars in New York City!

We are truly blessed to have learned from Ariel & Shya and discovered that life – no matter how it shows up – does not have to be difficult. It can be and is an exciting, constantly unfolding adventure.