Simple Gifts

Although we had been good friends a long time ago, we hadn’t seen Eric in more than 20 years. It was the first time he attended one of our “Monday Night Alive!” evenings in New York City for our special event: Employee of the Year, a seminar devoted to discovering how to bring excellence to the workplace. There were many others attending for the first time that night – most cautiously optimistic about what was possible, curious about what they might learn. Eric came to the evening with a plan: Sit back and listen. He thought that this would not only be the best way to get the most from the seminar, but that it would also be the wise course of action. Thankfully, his plan failed. Here is what happened that night.

As we looked out at the sea of faces, we could tell that people were there looking for many different things but we felt fairly certain that everyone in attendance had an interest in being more successful, productive and satisfied at work. We also knew that most people have internalized standards that they unknowingly compare themselves to and many fall short in their own estimation. So, we posed a question, “What attributes do you think embody the Employee of the Year?”

It was an exciting exploration. Many volunteered ideas – doing complete work…with consistency, operating with passion, listening, being responsive to your colleagues and customers, as well as many other useful suggestions. Each attribute someone brought forward came to life as people articulated how they felt and what they saw.

At one point Haydée, a lovely Columbian woman who works at the UN, spoke about her new job assisting the Secretary of the United Nations General Assembly. A main part of the Secretary’s job is the yearly meeting where delegates from all over the world get together to work on “the over 300 or so items on the agenda.” Haydée spoke about the magic of the UN being a place where people with full blown and conflicting agendas can get together to bring their opposing views out into the open and work together to find common ground and as she did so, she became more animated. She spoke passionately about the thousands of people on the front line who were working selflessly to save the children around the world. In fact, Haydée herself has started an organization, “Le Petit Okapis,” that currently supports 37 former street children who are now in school, several even in college.

As Haydée shared about her life, her presence grew far larger than her 4’11” stature. Andy, a man in the front row, popped to his feet, “I’m not sure what my idea of Employee of the Year was before I came in here tonight,” he said, “but passionate about your job has just leapt to the top of my list.”

The evening was heating up and like popcorn; suddenly Eric blossomed and popped out of his chair to add his voice.

“I live in Boston and New York City,” he told everyone, “and I take a really nice bus between the two that has an Internet connection. I had a plan this week to do research work via the Internet on the bus on the way down from Boston, but the bus broke down. First I was upset…but that didn’t make the bus move. Then I texted my complaints to my friends…but that didn’t make the bus move either.”

People chuckled as they relaxed into the evening and Eric’s story. He went on to say that he had been listening to our podcasts and had our first book, Working on Yourself Doesn’t Work, The Three Simple Ideas That Will Instantaneously Transform Your Life, with him. In an instant, while “stuck” on a bus, he had a direct experience of the second idea, or principle of Instantaneous Transformation: He could only be exactly where he was. That THIS was his moment. Complaining wouldn’t change the fact that the bus had broken down. So he quit complaining and got engaged. Eric grinned as he told everyone that he made a couple of new friends that day. He had surprised himself by entertaining those around him.

The evening continued and it was lively, informative, inspired and the diverse group of participants gave each other many gifts, simple stories such as Eric’s. At the end of the evening a young man named Bill who had been a silent observer over the course of the night approached us to say that he had been pleasantly surprised to discover that he wasn’t alone – that all of the people who spoke he could relate to. He let us know that he had been looking at improving the quality of his life for sometime now but had felt like he was in possession of only fragmented ideas. It was as if those fragments unexpectedly and effortlessly fit together into a usable form.

“It wasn’t all new,” Bill said. “But suddenly I felt OK in myself. The best part was when that man, Eric, spoke about his experience on the bus. I really understood it. I saw that I can only be where I am — but it is up to me what I do with it.”

As we interacted with Bill, we couldn’t help but smile. Instantaneous Transformation is so simple, yet so profound. In a moment, a whole new world, an entirely new possibility is open and available.

We are so happy that Eric failed in his plan to keep quiet. His failure was a win, not only for himself but also for everyone, including a rather shy young man named Bill.

We know Eric came to the evening with the misconception that he had nothing of value to contribute. He had no idea that the spontaneous sharing of his experience would make such a difference. People absolutely underestimate what they have to offer. We pre–judge ourselves thinking we are damaged or “works in progress” or that our “ordinary lives” are nothing special.

We love that Eric and many of the folks there that evening gave themselves permission to be self–expressive even if they thought what they had to say was not of use or at best “ordinary”. Each person’s ordinary is another’s extraordinary. Being one’s self and sharing that with others is simply a gift.