Wendy From Elmhurst

On a Living Made Easy Zoom seminar with Ariel and Shya Kane one Saturday, I was mustering the courage to speak. I was eager to tell a story about my weekend. “Err…ahhh… I’m Wendy from Queens, New York,” I finally managed to get out. Then I launched into what I perceived was the important part of what I wanted to say – my story about the birthday party I threw for my husband at our house.

When I was done, Shya said, “I’m curious. Why do you say you’re from Queens? Isn’t that an entire borough rather than a town?”

“Well, yes,” I answered.

Truth be told, I wasn’t particularly proud I that lived in Queens. I mean, it wasn’t a trendy neighborhood like Park Slope, Brooklyn after all.

Shya continued to gently pull on that thread as he asked, “Are you hiding where you live?”

Nodding, I replied, “I guess I am.”

“You hide and dim your brilliance to keep the peace,” Shya said.

It was as if a lightbulb went off. Oddly enough, I flashed to a time when I was in Paris in the subway looking for my destination on a wall map. This was before the advent of digital signage, so when I pushed the button on a train line, all of the stops on that line lit up. This is what I saw when Shya shared that observation: all of the times I hid to keep the peace, to not rock the boat, to be liked. The track of my life lit up just like that subway map. I saw it everywhere.

In an instant, I saw that this strategy, which I had put in place as a little girl, didn’t serve me anymore. Just seeing it was enough. It felt like a weight I hadn’t even known I was carrying, fell off my shoulders. Into the rest of my Saturday I went.

On Monday, I led my team at an off-site event with my company. It was a great success. I smiled to myself, realizing that you can’t effectively lead and hide at the same time.

I’m Wendy from Elmhurst, Queens!