My teacher, Mrs. Perry, had a slight bee hive hairdo with streaks of grey throughout. She wore bifocal glasses and nice outfits. But most important, she was very smart. I wanted to be smart like her. I also wanted be liked by my schoolmates.
Sitting in the middle of neatly arranged rows of desks, I felt I could go unnoticed and hide from any danger that may lurk in a 3rd grade classroom. I would often think, Please don’t ever call on me for answers..I don’t want to say a wrong answer…I don’t want to look stupid…
One spring morning as my 3rd grade social studies class was about to begin, I sat at my desk, playing with the raised pleat on my pink polyester pants. I wondered what game would be played at recess and hoped it wasn’t “Red-Rover” – a children’s game where 2 teams line up opposite each other, no more than 30 feet apart. The first team agrees to call one player from the opposite team, and chants, “Red Rover, Red Rover, send (player’s name) on over!” The person called runs to the other line and attempts to break the chain (formed by the linking of hands). I didn’t like this game much, as it hurt my arms when other kids saw my arms as one of the weak-links and would crash through my grip, claiming victory and producing unhappy comments from my team members.
My serious worries of recess were interrupted when Mrs. Perry announced we were going to go around the room, taking turns reading paragraphs from our text book out loud. Oh No! Out loud?! After she gave instructions for the first child in the corner front row to begin, I quickly counted how many desks it would be until it was my turn. I then held onto this number to THEN count the number of paragraphs in the text book, so I could pre-read my paragraph. I didn’t want to come upon words I didn’t know. It would be embarrassing to sound out the syllables (out loud!), discovering new words in the moment. I had to prepare. I got super nervous as each student finished reading their paragraph and the next child began. Where was my paragraph again?… When my turn came I didn’t know where we were on the page, I had to ask for Mrs. Perry’s assistance. I found myself stumbling over words even if I did know them. I’m not a good reader, I thought. I don’t like reading.
Fast forward 40 Years. I’ve discovered Instantaneous Transformation!
As I started my evening commute from New Jersey to NYC to attend the Monday evening’s “Say YES To Your Life” Meetup I was co-facilitating with my friend, Michael, I thought, What am I going to say this evening? I don’t want to sound stupid. The thought surprised me but it also felt old and familiar. I was well prepared. I knew my experience of transformation. Plus, Michael and I had 2 phone dates where we reviewed the Meetup Guidelines together, chatted about our week’s experience of transformation and how it coincided with our Meetup topic. Easy and fun! Still the thought tickled my mind: I have no idea what will come out of my mouth when I speak…will it be ok?
Letting those thoughts roll by, I took out my cell phone and reviewed my Meetup App. Scrolling down the RSVP list on the Meetup site, I looked at the names and pictures of the faces of those who said they were coming. It was inspiring to see who may be showing up that evening. I then went to my Kindle App to open an eBook I was reading and jumped into fantasy land. I’ve been devouring a tantalizing 5 book series about a super-natural heroine who was saving the world from complete evil destruction, while having amazing sexual experiences, many humorous moments, and of course falling in love. Alright, so it wasn’t a social studies text book, but yet another discovery since Transformation has been in my life – I LOVE reading!
After my quick read on the train, then arriving at the Meetup location, I helped set up the room and welcomed participants. Michael and I began the Meetup by introducing Instantaneous Transformation and the Kanes seminars. We spoke of listening and the 3 Principles of Instantaneous Transformation. We spoke of our topic, “Unexpected Intimacy,” then all the participants said their name and where they were from. The discussion was open and bounced around the room as we chatted about Unexpected Intimacy, mentioning the upcoming seminar. It was a lively evening.
On the train during my commute home after the Meetup, I saw in retrospect that I didn’t once “think” or worry about what I was going to say. I looked around the room, opened my mouth, and shared my experience of transformation. And if what I said didn’t quite “land,” I had my fellow Meetup participants there with me, taking care of the next moment. It was the transformed version of “Red Rover” – team members with open arms, ready to gently catch each other and new participants into the stream of the moment.
As I reflected on the Meetup, my 3rd grade memory came flashing into my thoughts. I smiled to myself and sent that little 3rd grader Colleen a message: “Don’t worry, you are going to love everything about your life one day, and you’ll see how fun it is to share…”
I am writing this story with great gratitude for the friends I’m made in the transformational community through the Kanes’ seminars. I am so grateful that you are my friends, so happy I found you, Ariel & Shya, and so touched to be connected with you all.
Love,
Colleen
By Colleen in Manhattan, New York — © 1996 – 2026 www.transformationmadeeasy.com. Click to subscribe to our newsletter and blog.