Dave’s New Suit

18 Apr Dave’s New Suit

I am the CEO of my own engineering firm, which I founded several years ago. I love my work, and I also love volunteering for things I’m passionate about. One of those things is Transformation, and I volunteer as a producer for Ariel and Shya’s podcast Being Here. I enjoy taking care of the guests and making sure the process goes smoothly. While I’m producing and recording the shows, I get to listen in the “background,” which is a warm, rich, and often enlightening experience.

Recently as I was producing an episode of Being Here, I was particularly touched by something the Kanes said to Katja, one of their guests. The topic was investing in oneself, and Ariel and Shya were talking about the common thought, “I can’t afford this.” Ariel said that when she has wrestled with the idea that she can’t afford something, Shya sometimes responds, “You can’t afford not to.”

As they were speaking, I heard “I can’t afford that” echo familiarly through my mind: I remembered times that I talked myself out of giving something to myself. It occurred to me that even when I do invest in myself, I have an internal chatter berating myself about the cost, saying I shouldn’t really have indulged, and being hard on myself for spending the money.

Well, I heard something new on that podcast, and suddenly I had new options. Here is what happened:

I didn’t have a good suit. You know – the kind of suit that the President/CEO of a growing, successful engineering firm would wear to network at a fancy dress gala where my company had sponsored a table for 10 other people to attend. Having the right suit was not in my reality, until I heard Kanes talk about investing in oneself. In hearing them, I saw my mind’s small, diminished image of me, and suddenly, it was like a switch flipped: I saw that “small” image was not me.

That afternoon I went to a local Italian men’s store that sells very nice suits. Very nice. Did I mention nice? They’re beautiful pieces of clothing. When I walked into the shop, the salesman, Sam, introduced himself and asked how he could help me. I said I needed a suit and he got excited. He said “my” suit (the perfect suit for me) had arrived a couple days ago: “Come try it on!”

I tried it on, and wow. Sam was right, it was my suit: It fit me perfectly – snug to my frame, in a beautiful checked pattern…I looked so good in it. A tailor took my measurements and thirty minutes later, I bought it. It was so easy when I wasn’t having a conversation with myself about whether I was really worth it.

Of course, thoughts did come up, but I saw them and let them pass through. I couldn’t afford not to buy this suit. A few days later, it was ready, and I was excited to wear it for the fancy gala.

Whether I am investing in a suit, planning a vacation, or setting aside time to attend an upcoming seminar like Costa Rica with Ariel and Shya, I have discovered I am much bigger than the small image I have of myself. I am definitely worth the investment.